A Very Perfection Christmas
by TekeoMiona
Summary: Where Perfection is Egypt, Larry has odd mornings, Rosalita has acquired the power of transportation, and Larry learns that Judaism is good for some confusions. This is a grade A crack!fic that makes diddly sense. It's 7737% RANDOM. If you take offense at something in here, you're being dumb.


**This is what happens when you keep me from writing against my will for several weeks. I back up and write oddness.**

**Happy Christmas~**

***DISCLAIMER* I DON'T OWN THESE WEIRDOS.**

* * *

Larry Norvel had woken up to many unexpected, and sometimes rather strange, things in his lifetime. At seven, his mother woke him up singing about the magic qualities of duct tape. During his sixteenth summer he went camping with his friend's family and woke up every morning with a tent full of caterpillars. Once he'd even opened his eyes just in time to see a blurry shape fly around his room before disappearing. He was still positive it had been an alien, even though his father had tried to convince him it was probably just a bat.

Larry Norvel was used to starting the day slightly confused. Even so, stepping out of his trailer in Perfection Valley, Nevada, in the middle of the desert, only to fall into a ton of cold, white, wet was definitely not something he ever expected.

Trying desperately to find which way was up, Larry scrambled around in the powdery cold. He finally managed to find his footing. He stood there for several moments, shivering, trying to force his cold-shocked mind to work again.

Snow. He was standing in snow. He was standing in snow that reached his thighs. He was standing in thigh deep snow in an area of the Nevada desert that had not seen even two inches of snow in over a decade.

Right.

Larry looked around the town. Jodi's porch was lost beneath the surface of the snow and Tyler's door probably would've been stuck if his door didn't open inwards.

_"Yeeeeeeeeheeheeheeeeee!"_ A high pitched voice suddenly shattered the silence.

Larry jumped backwards with a yelp as someone suddenly shot past him, going too fast for someone running through deep snow.

_"Christmas, it's Christmas, Christmas!"_ the voice sang.

"What?" Larry stared after it in shock. It was running _on top of the snow._ "Hey! Wait!"

The figure didn't stop or slow down. Larry stumbled after it but the snow was too deep and he only succeeded in face planting. By the time he'd gotten to his feet again, the mysterious person was long gone.

"What the?"

_**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**_

"Larry, I'm tellin' ya, you were seein' things," Tyler said.

"I was not! Something was running on top of the snow and screaming about Christmas!"

Tyler shrugged. "I didn't hear anything."

"Me neither," Rosalita added, sipping her Grabbacino.

Larry clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You don't even live in town."

The rancher shrugged. "Still didn't hear it."

Jodi sighed, setting his breakfast on the counter. "Just eat your pancakes, Larry. You can take Tyler to go looking for it later. Well, it's not like you'll be doing anything else," she added when Tyler gave her an odd look.

"Whatever." The room fell into silence for several minutes. Then, "Rosalita, how'd you even get here? The snow's too deep for the vehicles."

"…I have no idea."

_**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**_

Jesus skipped along the rim of the valley happily. The snow crunched beneath his feet, even though they left no footprints, and his cheeks were bright and rosy. This valley was so much fun. So many strange, mysterious animals that couldn't be found anywhere else. And the people were entertaining to watch. Especially the survivalist, who had been more than a little miffed when he opened his door and had several feet of snow fall on top of him. Jesus loved the chipmunk impression he did with his cheeks. Tyler was right, it was funny.

Speaking of Tyler…there he was with Larry! Jesus slid down the mountain and ran to them, keeping his distance because it was fun to track people who were trying to track you.

Unfortunately, the game didn't last long. Larry lost his footing (for the third time that day) and both he and Tyler were suddenly rolling down the hill they had just climbed. Jesus joined the tangle of limbs halfway down and the three landed in a giant pretzel ball amongst the trees.

It took a few moments for the other two to realize there were an extra set of arms and legs in their pile. They lept up with simultaneous cries of surprise.

"Do not fear!" Jesus shouted quickly. He held up his hands in a show of peace. "It's just me, Jesus. I was just having a snow day in the valley."

"Wait….you're the one who caused all this snow?" Tyler asked. "Why?"

Jesus shrugged. "Hey, even the son of God needs a day of good snow every once in a while."

"…I guess….that makes sense," Larry said slowly. "Are you the one who ran through town this morning screaming?"

"Yes. Did I wake you?"

"No."

"Oh. That's good." Jesus beamed. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play a different game. This one isn't much fun anymore since you've seen me. Merry Christmas!"

With that, he was gone, leaving Tyler and Larry blinking after him.

"Think that was really Jesus?" Tyler asked after several silent minutes.

"I dunno, bro, I'm Jewish."


End file.
